Post worker receives state Caregiver Award

BY PATRICK BUFFETT
CASEMATE STAFF WRITER

A member of the Fort Monroe garrison workforce was among nine individuals state-wide who received the 2008 Governor’s Caregiver Recognition Award during a special ceremony in Virginia Beach last week. The recipients were honored for their dedication in helping friends or family members with long-time ailments or disabilities, according to a release from the Commonwealth’s Department of Social Services.

Ella Skeeter-Webster, a management assistant with the Plans, Analysis and Integration Office, has provided direct care of her older sister, Jacqueline, since 2001 when their mother passed away.

“Jackie was born with a learning deficiency that limits her ability to be on her own,” Skeeter-Webster explained. “What made the situation more difficult, though, is that my mom sheltered her from just about everything … so Jackie’s world was really turned upside down when she died.”

During her mom’s final months, the medical community resorted to prescription medications to keep Jackie calm. Unfortunately, those powerful medications also pushed her away from reality and became a way of life. “I couldn’t let her live like that … she was in a daze most days and was constantly asking for more drugs to get her past one hurdle or another.”

When other family members had given up on Jackie, Skeeter-Webster refused to consider that option. “My sister needed me … not someone who would continue promoting her dependence on prescription drugs. I knew it was my turn to be there for her as she had been for me in my early childhood.”

Highlighting the 17-year difference in their ages, Skeeter-Webster recalled those times when her sister would walk her to school or meet her at the end of the day and the excellent treatment she received in her care. There was no need to ask her how she felt about those special moments – her proud smile said it all.

“I felt that caring for Jackie would also set an example for my children,” Skeeter-Webster continued. “This is also one of those situations where they are directly involved since Jackie lives right next door. I wanted to make it clear that family and neighbors do for each other any way they can and even if it’s not an easy situation.”

With unanimous approval by daughters Samantha, now 17, and Amanda, now 11, Skeeter-Webster dove headlong into her older sister’s care. “You can do it Jackie” became a regular mantra in their household. They helped her battle the constant need for drugs and created a whole new life of community involvement and family support.

“I’m happy to say that Jackie takes very little medication now and she has regained her old charming personality,” Skeeter-Webster said. “She loves to talk about her day’s activities and smiles and laughs a lot now. It was nice to hear her bring up the topic of education recently; she wants to go after her GED. Beyond all that, she has become very involved in our lives.”

“One of our favorite activities on the weekend is to go shopping and see what we can find at the area yard sales. We also like to sit around and watch old movies. When it’s really nice outside, we’ll go out and work in the garden; she really enjoys watching the flowers grow. Oh, and she has started crocheting again, which is wonderful to see.”

In a lot of ways, Jackie’s big sister role has returned as well. Skeeter-Webster said she’s not afraid to offer an opinion if she feels strongly enough about an issue or situation. She is also very protective of her nieces and won’t hesitate in calling mom if they’re running late or if she thinks they are in trouble.

“That’s really comforting for me because I know she is there and watches them so closely,” Skeeter-Webster said. “It takes away some of the worry between the time they get home from school and I get there from work.”

Another bright spot of this whole arrangement is how Jackie’s experience may have influenced Samantha’s future career aspirations. According to Skeeter-Webster, she is eyeing psychiatric studies beginning with a chemistry curriculum at The Dozoretz National Institute for Mathematics and Applied Sciences, Norfolk State University after she graduates from high school.

“What my children have learned from this really is the biggest reward I can imagine,” she said. “I do think it’s really nice of the state to acknowledge and honor the efforts of family caregivers, but it was sort of like ‘okay, you’re giving me an award for taking care of someone I love.’ Personally, I just don’t see it as that big of a deal.

“On the other hand, I do want my children to see the good things that come from helping others – whether it’s family, friends or someone you don’t even know. You have to ‘pay it forward’ even if there are no rewards or personal gain. You just make the effort because it’s the right thing to do.”

According to an estimate quoted by the Department of Social Services in its recent press release, there are more than one million volunteer caregivers state-wide. Virginia launched its award program to recognize these “unpaid and unsung heroes” in 2005.

“The Caregiver Award symbolically thanks all of the caregivers in the Commonwealth who lovingly take care of family and friends day after day,” said Governor Tim Kaine. “Although the award is only given to a few caregivers, it serves as a reminder of the tremendous contributions (made by these individuals) across Virginia.”